Trapped in Kayfabe: Hell in a Cell 2021

It’s time for another WWE pay per view. Unfortunately, I haven’t been this uninterested in a ppv in quite a while. However, I’m a sucker for wrasslin’ and will still watch it. Well, most of it, anyways. Okay, at least the main event.

Despite the conspiracy theories that claim wrestling is fixed, my picks for each match are as follows:

Hell in a Cell 2021

Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Drew McIntyre - AEW World Title, Hell in a Cell

Bobby Lashley has really suprised me as champ. Regardless, I still can't root against the man who saved Western Civilization at Wrestlemania 23. Prediction: The Almighty Bobby Lashley

Roman Reigns (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - Universal Championship, Hell in a Cell

I'm sick of WWE constantly telling us Rey and Domique are the first father-son tag team champions. Like, quit lying to us, we're not stupid.. We all know that's Eddie's kid. Reigns is the big dog and Rey is a tiny chuhauhau. Easy pick. Predition: Roman Reigns

Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair - Raw Women's Championship

Don't care. I'll be putting my kid to bed this match. Prediction: We read a dinosaur book and he pees the bed.

Bianca Belair (c) vs. Bayley - Smackdown Women's Championship

Until Bianca cuts that stupid rope off her head, I will always root against her. At least Bayley is entertaining. Reluctant prediction: Bianca Belair

Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler

It's hard to not pick the girl who can summon demons. Or have magic powers. Or do whatever it is she does. Prediction: Alexa Bliss


Seth Rollins vs Cesaro

At the time of writing, this match hasn't been announced but seems likely. These guys can put up a good fight but Seth is Seth Freaking Rollins and Cesaro is... Cesaro. Prediction: Seth Rollins

I’m not sure I’ll even watch this show. Half the matches are women’s matches, which means I’ll be fast forwarding through half the PPV. The main event looks fun but I don’t really care about the rest. You know what would make this show hella more interesting? Braun Strowman Prediction: I spend three hours browsing twitter.

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Oscar Murillo is a casual wrestling fan who has the internet and is therefore an expert on all things wrestling.

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