Trapped in Kayfabe: Hell in a Cell 2022

by Michael Cruz

Kevin Owens

Last year’s HIAC may have been the worst show of the year. This year, Roman Reigns isn’t even on the card. Oof. Hell in a Cell 2022 Predictions:

Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins, Hell in a Cell Match

This third match should finally settle the score. I'm just happy there will be no outside interference or  any way to leave the enclosed cage to ensure a fair and decisive for the eventual winner. Prediction: The American Nightmare

Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka vs. Becky Lynch (Raw Women's Championship)

Still can't get over how stupid Bianca's hair is. Prediction: I finish the dishes from the rest of the show.

Bobby Lashley vs. Omos & MVP 

Still rooting for the guy who made Donald Trump President. Prediction: Bobby Lashley

Finn Balor, AJ Styles & Liv Morgan vs. The Judgment Day.

Intergender matches are dumb. Prediction: Liv Morgan tags in and Damian Priest beats the shit out of her for twenty minutes because she's one-hundred pound woman and he's a jacked demon. jk. The Judgement Day gets a pin.

Austin Theory (c) vs. Mustafa Ali, US Championship

Wish this was a "You're Fired" match instead. Prediction: Theory

Ezekiel vs. Kevin Owens

Kevin needs to back off the Ezekeiel-Elias conspiracy theories, the guy has lost it. Ezekiel is a stand-up guy who wants to represent his family. Who can't get behind that?  Prediction: Ezekiel (who is obviously not his brother, Elias)

Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss (No Holds Barred)

These matches aren't repairing their friendship and you just hate to see it. Prediction: Madcap Moss

So the Hell in a Cell pay per view features one HIAC match, 1 1/2 women’s matches, no Roman Reigns and 0 Elias’. Nothing here looks too remarkable but should be an entertaining show. Prediction: Ezekiel is the highlight of the night.

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Michael Cruz has the internet and is therefore an expert on professional wrestling.