Trapped in Kayfabe: All Out 2021

by Michael Cruz

My picks for AEW All Out:

CM Punk vs. Darby Allin

Punk hasn't wrestled in seven years(!) but he was the best the world. Darby Allin only weighs about 17 pounds. Prediction: CM Punk

Kenny Omega (c) vs. Christian Cage - AEW World Championship

Kenny is too good. Christian is too old. Prediction: Kenny Omega

Dr. Britt Baker (c) vs. Kris Statlander - AEW Women's World Championship


As a Pittsburgher, I'm compelled to like to Britt Baker. Prediction: Britt Baker

The Young Bucks (c) vs. Lucha Bros - AEW World Tag Team Championship, Steel Cage Match


This will be the best match of the night. The Lucha Bros are awesome, but crazy. Too crazy for their own good. Prediction: The Young Bucks

Paul Wight vs. QT Marshall

I don't watch enough to know who QT Marshall is. Regardless, Wight is literally a giant. Prediction: The Big Show.

Jon Moxley vs. Satoshi Kojima

Again, never heard of Satoshi Kojima. Apparently he's Japanese. America first. Prediction: Mox

Chris Jericho vs. MJF, Final Fight

So if MJF wins, Chris Jericho leaves the company. As much as I like Y2J, I think MJF has some dirty tricks up his scarf. Prediction: MJF

Miro (c) vs. Eddie Kingston - TNT Championship

Eddie is likely to pass out from listening to Miro's pyro. Prediction: Miro

Matt Hardy Private Party vs. The Best Friends and Jurassic Express

My son is obsessed with dinosaurs, so Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy are his favorite wrestlers right now. I like The Best Friends. After all, how can you not like a couple of dudes who are best friends living the dream? Prediction: Jungle Boy ftw

Women's Casino Royale

On AEW's advertisement for this match, they feature 19 women and one dude pretending to be a woman front and center. lol. Prediction: I change the channel.
one of these is not like the others

AEW always puts on a good pay per view. The crowd during Punk’s match will be nuts. Prediction: Tonight will be fun.

Read The Dirtsheets, a dark comedy pro wrestling graphic novel, on Amazon Kindle or paperback

Michael Cruz is a casual wrestling fan who has the internet and is therefore an expert on all things wrestling.


Trapped in Kayfabe: Double or Nothing 2021

by Michael Cruz

I can’t believe it’s already been three months since Eddie Kingston died saving Jon Moxley’s life during the Exploding Barbed Wire Death Match. AEW’s follow-up ppv, Double or Nothing, is this Sunday.

Despite some conspiracy theorists claiming it’s fixed, my picks for each match are as follows:

Double or Nothing 2021

Kenny Omega (c) vs. Orange Cassidy vs. Pac - AEW World Title

I watched TNA for the first time in a decade to watch Omega win their belt. The guy is killing it right now. Pac has to pin Orange Cassidy if he wants to win. I really like Orange, but I doubt he'll put in enough effort to win the match. Prediction: Kenny Omega

The Young Bucks (c) vs. Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston - AEW Tag Team Titles

Eddie Kingston is still alive? It's a miracle! If Jon and Eddie can beat Death from the last ppv, they can beat the Young Bucks. Prediction: Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston

Hikaru Shida (c) vs. Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. - AEW Women’s World Championship

Not only is Dr. Baker an American, she's from Pittsburgh. Easy choice. Prediction: Britt Baker

Miro (c) vs. Lance Archer (with Jake Roberts) - TNT Title

I've hated Lance Archer since his early TNA days. It's that damn tramp stamp. When conspiracy theorists aren't busy claiming wrestling is fixed, they claim it's gay. Lance's tramp stamp doesn't help dispute that. Besides, the show falls on Rusev Day. Prediction: Miro

The Pinnacle (MJF, Wardlow, Shawn Spears, Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood) (with Tully Blanchard) vs. The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho, Jake Hager, Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz) - Stadium Stampede (If Inner Circle loses, they must disband)

wtf is a Stadium Stampede match? Regardless, Jericho always has a few tricks up his up his spiked sleeve. Prediction: The Inner Circle

Sting and Darby Allin vs. Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page

I couldn't be less interested in Scorpio Sky and the other guy. Prediction: Sting and Skateboard Sting.

Cody Rhodes (with Arn Anderson) vs. Anthony Ogogo

Anthony Ogogo per wrestlinginc: "I hate this notion that America is the greatest country in the world. ‘Land of the free’, Utter bullsh*t. Land of the free? That’s where they capture kids and stick them in cages?... Americans go, ‘America, best country in the world.’ You ain’t the best country in Northern America if you don’t even look after your citizens, if you take kids away from their parents and lock them in cages."

The only thing more worthless than a government program is a foreigner's opinion. I hope Cody turns him into a good communist. BTW, didn't Ogogo get the memo that "progressives" aren't supposed to talk about the "kids in cages" now that Biden is President? Stupid idiot. Prediction: Cody Rhodes 

Casino Battle Royal - Christian Cage vs. Matt Sydal vs. Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Evil Uno vs. Colt Cabana vs. Preston Vance vs. Jungle Boy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Marq Quen vs. Isiah Kassidy vs. Penta El Zero Miedo vs. TBA

I don't know who most of those people are. I don't care. Prediction: TBA

“Hangman” Adam Page vs. Brian Cage (with Taz)

How is it even physically possible for anyone to beat Brian Cage? Prediction: Brian Cage

This is going to be a good show. Nine matches and only one women’s match (take note WWE). The thing I’m looking forward to most is the live crowd, which is just as important as any wrestler inside the ring. Prediction: Aside from having acommie on my television, Double or Nothing is going to be fun.

Read The Dirtsheets, a dark comedy pro wrestling graphic novel, on Amazon Kindle or paperback

Michael Cruz is a casual wrestling fan who has the internet and is therefore an expert on all things wrestling.