Trapped in Kayfabe: Hell in a Cell 2022

by Michael Cruz

Kevin Owens

Last year’s HIAC may have been the worst show of the year. This year, Roman Reigns isn’t even on the card. Oof. Hell in a Cell 2022 Predictions:

Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins, Hell in a Cell Match

This third match should finally settle the score. I'm just happy there will be no outside interference or  any way to leave the enclosed cage to ensure a fair and decisive for the eventual winner. Prediction: The American Nightmare

Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka vs. Becky Lynch (Raw Women's Championship)

Still can't get over how stupid Bianca's hair is. Prediction: I finish the dishes from the rest of the show.

Bobby Lashley vs. Omos & MVP 

Still rooting for the guy who made Donald Trump President. Prediction: Bobby Lashley

Finn Balor, AJ Styles & Liv Morgan vs. The Judgment Day.

Intergender matches are dumb. Prediction: Liv Morgan tags in and Damian Priest beats the shit out of her for twenty minutes because she's one-hundred pound woman and he's a jacked demon. jk. The Judgement Day gets a pin.

Austin Theory (c) vs. Mustafa Ali, US Championship

Wish this was a "You're Fired" match instead. Prediction: Theory

Ezekiel vs. Kevin Owens

Kevin needs to back off the Ezekeiel-Elias conspiracy theories, the guy has lost it. Ezekiel is a stand-up guy who wants to represent his family. Who can't get behind that?  Prediction: Ezekiel (who is obviously not his brother, Elias)

Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss (No Holds Barred)

These matches aren't repairing their friendship and you just hate to see it. Prediction: Madcap Moss

So the Hell in a Cell pay per view features one HIAC match, 1 1/2 women’s matches, no Roman Reigns and 0 Elias’. Nothing here looks too remarkable but should be an entertaining show. Prediction: Ezekiel is the highlight of the night.

Read The Dirtsheets, a dark comedy pro wrestling graphic novel, on Amazon Kindle or paperback

Michael Cruz has the internet and is therefore an expert on professional wrestling.

Trapped in Kayfabe: Backlash 2022

by Michael Cruz

It’s time for Backlash, our first post-Wrestlemania pay-per-view. As usual, we can expect a bunch of Mania rematches so there’s nothing too ground breaking here. However, Mania was awesome, so let’s do this. My picks:

Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins

It's still too soon to get over that tattoo. Prediction: Seth Freakin Rollins

Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Ronda Rousey, "I Quit" Match

Only one women's match? Nice. Prediction: Ronda Rousey

Drew McIntyre & RK-Bro vs. Roman Reigns & The Usos

I don't care who he's facing, nobody can beat Roman. Nobody. Prediction: The Bloodline

AJ Styles vs. Edge

AJ keeps losing friends and Edge keeps making them. Bad move in this sport. Prediction: Edge

Bobby Lashley vs. Omos

If it weren't for Bobby Lashley, Hillary Clinton would be President importing the entirety of South America into our country. Prediction: Bobby Lashley

Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss

It's hard to believe these two guys were such close friends just a month ago. Hopefully this match will settle their differences and they can be best buds again. Prediction: Madcap Moss 

So overall there is one only women’s match and no Bianca Belair. That’s enough to make Backlash a decent show. Prediction: I enjoy it but forget about the show just like every other Backlash.

Read The Dirtsheets, a dark comedy pro wrestling graphic novel, on Amazon Kindle or paperback

Michael Cruz is a casual wrestling fan who has the internet and is therefore an expert on all things wrestling.