It’s time for another WWE pay per view. Unfortunately, I haven’t been this uninterested in a ppv in quite a while. However, I’m a sucker for wrasslin’ and will still watch it. Well, most of it, anyways. Okay, at least the main event.
Despite the conspiracy theories that claim wrestling is fixed, my picks for each match are as follows:
Hell in a Cell 2021
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Drew McIntyre - AEW World Title, Hell in a Cell Bobby Lashley has really suprised me as champ. Regardless, I still can't root against the man who saved Western Civilization at Wrestlemania 23. Prediction: The Almighty Bobby Lashley Roman Reigns (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - Universal Championship, Hell in a Cell I'm sick of WWE constantly telling us Rey and Domique are the first father-son tag team champions. Like, quit lying to us, we're not stupid.. We all know that's Eddie's kid. Reigns is the big dog and Rey is a tiny chuhauhau. Easy pick. Predition: Roman Reigns Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair - Raw Women's Championship Don't care. I'll be putting my kid to bed this match. Prediction: We read a dinosaur book and he pees the bed. Bianca Belair (c) vs. Bayley - Smackdown Women's Championship Until Bianca cuts that stupid rope off her head, I will always root against her. At least Bayley is entertaining. Reluctant prediction: Bianca Belair Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler It's hard to not pick the girl who can summon demons. Or have magic powers. Or do whatever it is she does. Prediction: Alexa Bliss Seth Rollins vs Cesaro At the time of writing, this match hasn't been announced but seems likely. These guys can put up a good fight but Seth is Seth Freaking Rollins and Cesaro is... Cesaro. Prediction: Seth Rollins
I’m not sure I’ll even watch this show. Half the matches are women’s matches, which means I’ll be fast forwarding through half the PPV. The main event looks fun but I don’t really care about the rest. You know what would make this show hella more interesting? Braun Strowman
Richie Richards is a casual wrestling fan who has never stepped foot in the ring, therefore, he is an expert on all things wrestling. Check out his graphic novel, The Dirtsheets: Volume 1. Satirizing pro wrestling and the politically correct, The Dirtsheets is available in paperback and Amazon Kindle.
I can’t believe it’s already been three months since Eddie Kingston died saving Jon Moxley’s life during the Exploding Barbed Wire Death Match. AEW’s follow-up ppv, Double or Nothing, is this Sunday.
Despite some conspiracy theorists claiming it’s fixed, my picks for each match are as follows:
Double or Nothing 2021
Kenny Omega (c) vs. Orange Cassidy vs. Pac - AEW World Title I watched TNA for the first time in a decade to watch Omega win their belt. The guy is killing it right now. Pac has to pin Orange Cassidy if he wants to win. I really like Orange, but I doubt he'll put in enough effort to win the match. Prediction: Kenny Omega The Young Bucks (c) vs. Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston - AEW Tag Team Titles Eddie Kingston is still alive? It's a miracle! If Jon and Eddie can beat Death from the last ppv, they can beat the Young Bucks. Prediction: Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston Hikaru Shida (c) vs. Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. - AEW Women’s World Championship Not only is Dr. Baker an American, she's from Pittsburgh. Easy choice. Prediction: Britt Baker Miro (c) vs. Lance Archer (with Jake Roberts) - TNT Title I've hated Lance Archer since his early TNA days. It's that damn tramp stamp. When conspiracy theorists aren't busy claiming wrestling is fixed, they claim it's gay. Lance's tramp stamp doesn't help dispute that. Besides, the show falls on Rusev Day. Prediction: Miro The Pinnacle (MJF, Wardlow, Shawn Spears, Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood) (with Tully Blanchard) vs. The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho, Jake Hager, Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz) - Stadium Stampede (If Inner Circle loses, they must disband) wtf is a Stadium Stampede match? Regardless, Jericho always has a few tricks up his up his spiked sleeve. Prediction: The Inner Circle Sting and Darby Allin vs. Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page I couldn't be less interested in Scorpio Sky and the other guy. Prediction: Sting and Skateboard Sting. Cody Rhodes (with Arn Anderson) vs. Anthony Ogogo Anthony Ogogo per wrestlinginc: "I hate this notion that America is the greatest country in the world. ‘Land of the free’, Utter bullsh*t. Land of the free? That’s where they capture kids and stick them in cages?... Americans go, ‘America, best country in the world.’ You ain’t the best country in Northern America if you don’t even look after your citizens, if you take kids away from their parents and lock them in cages." The only thing more worthless than a government program is a foreigner's opinion. I hope Cody turns him into a good communist. BTW, didn't Ogogo get the memo that "progressives" aren't supposed to talk about the "kids in cages" now that Biden is President? Stupid idiot. Prediction: Cody Rhodes Casino Battle Royal - Christian Cage vs. Matt Sydal vs. Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Evil Uno vs. Colt Cabana vs. Preston Vance vs. Jungle Boy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Marq Quen vs. Isiah Kassidy vs. Penta El Zero Miedo vs. TBA I don't know who most of those people are. I don't care. Prediction: TBA “Hangman” Adam Page vs. Brian Cage (with Taz) How is it even physically possible for anyone to beat Brian Cage? Prediction: Brian Cage
This is going to be a good show. Nine matches and only one women’s match (take note WWE). The thing I’m looking forward to most is the live crowd, which is just as important as any wrestler inside the ring. Aside from having that commie on my television screen, Double or Nothing is going to be fun.
Richie Richards is a casual wrestling fan who watches little more than pay per views and has never stepped foot in the ring, therefore, he is an expert on all things wrestling. Check out his graphic novel, The Dirtsheets: Volume 1. Satirizing pro wrestling and the politically correct, The Dirtsheets is available in paperback and Amazon Kindle.
by Richie Richards
This weekend is Wrestlemania, making this weekend my favorite of the year. Despite some conspiracy theorists claiming it’s fixed, my picks for each match are as follows:
WrestleMania 37 Night 1
Bobby Lashley (c) vs Drew McIntyre - WWE Championship Match It's hard to root against Bobby Lashley ever since 2016 when it became apparent that he may have saved western civilization during the Battle of the Billionaires at Wrestlemania 23. If he lost that match, would Donald Trump have become President? Doubtful. Also, Bobby is American. Drew is not. Easy choice. My pick: Bobby Lashley Sasha Banks (c) vs Bianca Belair - SmackDown Women's Championship Match Sasha Banks is one of my son's favorite wrestlers. Bianca has the dumbest hair style for a contact sport I've ever seen. Easy choice. My pick: Sasha Banks Bad Bunny & Damian Priest vs. The Miz & John Morrison I have no idea who Bad Bunny is. I guess he makes music? I'm too old to know, or care. There's no way a musician with no professional wrestling experience could beat wrestlers as accomplished as Miz and Morrison, but celebrities always have a way of miraculously picking up a win a Wrestlemania. My choice: Miz & Morrison. My prediction: Bad Bunny & Damian Priest. Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins These guys are feuding? Cesaro is an aging tag-team guy and Seth Rollins is a younger multi-time world champion. My pick: Seth Rollins The New Day(c) vs AJ Styles & Omos - Raw Tag Team Championship Match I don't care who he's wrestling, I always cheer for AJ Styles and his beautiful hair. Easy choice. Verdict: AJ Styles & that giant black guy Braun Strowman vs Shane McMahon - Steel Cage Match Braun Strowman is a monster among men and world champion material. Shane McMahon is in his fifties and wrestles once a year. Braun is also my son's favorite wrestler. Easy choice. Verdict: Braun Strowman Naomi & Lana vs. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke vs. The Riott Squad vs. Natalya & Tamina - Tag Team Turmoil Match Lana is the best looking woman in this match by far. Easy choice. My pick: Lana & whoever her partner is
WrestleMania 37 Night 2
Roman Reigns (c) vs Edge vs Daniel Bryan - Universal Championship Triple Threat Match This match is main eventing Wrestlemania, as it should. All three are great wrestlers, but Edge is old and Bryan is past his prime, whereas Roman Reigns is in his. Having Paul Heyman and an Uso at ringside can't hurt either. I'm only hesitant to pick Reigns as the winner because coincidentally, jerks never win the main event. My pick: Roman Reigns. My prediction: Edge The Fiend vs. Randy Orton Remember when Randy Orton faced Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania 33 and Orton was repulsed when worms were projected onto the ring during the match? I wish I didn't either. My pick: The Fiend. Big E (c) vs Apollo Crews - Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight Match wtf is a Nigerian Drum Fight Match? My pick: Apollo Crews by coin-toss Riddle (c) vs Sheamus - United States Championship Match Sheamus has a great career in reverse, so he's due for a Wrestlemania loss. This match is Riddle's if he can stay sober enough. Verdict: Matt Riddle Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn I prefer this be a "You're Fired" match and KO wins. My pick: Kevin Owens Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax vs. the winner of the Tag Team Turmoil Match from Night 1 - WWE Women's Tag Team Title Match Winner: My bladder.
In celebration of Mania, I’ve giving away my pro wrestling graphic novel, The Dirtsheets, free on Kindle all weekend long. Get it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KVPX3ZC